


Homewards

by heonniebread



Series: Boyfriends [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Romance, Smut, real soft shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:22:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26981338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heonniebread/pseuds/heonniebread
Summary: It's here: The week of The Visit.It sounds horror and it is to Kihyun.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun
Series: Boyfriends [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937542
Comments: 26
Kudos: 128





	Homewards

**Author's Note:**

> tw // panic attack

The car ride back from Logan International had been stuffy, (but a given,) considering the long flight and jet lag weighing on Kihyun's family. They said very friendly _hello's_ and _nice to meet you's!_ at the airport and Changkyun took some of the heavier suitcases with Kihyun, and he floated around but didn't say much as Kihyun asked his family about the flight. No one really engaged in much conversation outside of that, and opted to look out the window at the sights, old buildings, cobblestone pathways. It'd been late evening, the sun settling down. And Kihyun's family seemed to want to settle in, too.

When they got to the hotel and Changkyun said he was only there to drop them off, Nawoon, Kihyun's mother, had offered a hug.

"Thank you so much for picking us up." Nawoon is where Kihyun gets most of his looks from. He has the slope of her nose, the little dimple on her cheek when she grins widely, and Kihyun has his father's eyes, his lips. And Kihyun is taller than his father, Dongwon, taller than his brother, too. It's adorable, because Changkyun is the same height as Kihyun, which makes him taller than Kihyun's entire family. For some reason he hadn't expected that, it threw him off when he went to shake Dongwon's hand.

Kibeom, Kihyun's brother, looks so much like Kihyun, a more mature, square-jawed version of Kihyun. And Hyejin, his wife, is petite, with doe eyes and a shy little smile.

Changkyun feels clunky next to Kihyun's family. He's broad, much broader than Kihyun, and fairly tall, doesn't move as proudly as they do. He definitely looks like an outsider.

He drops them off at the hotel and says good-bye in the entryway. He returns the rental car and picks Candie back up and blasts the heat on the way home.

He doesn't see Kihyun the next day, or the day after that. Kihyun just drops in a few times a day to text him, but doesn't really talk. And that's fine, he's busy and overwhelmed. Changkyun gets it.

* * *

Kiki ❤

Kiki❤:  
I know this isn't fair to just drop on you  
But you know you're the first guy I'm out with?  
I never hid anything when I was with my girlfriends but the guys I were with were just as in the closet as I was

큔☀️:  
Woah what

Kiki❤:  
Busan boyfriend didn't last very long we broke up like a week after we fucked  
And we'd been dating like ????? 4 or 5 months  
And it was all online so no one knew  
An d the dude i hooked up with in college was super in the closet  
Like so in the closet we acted like we didn't know each other when we saw each other on campus  
He even had a girlfriend  
That I didn't know about

큔☀️:  
IM SORRY HE W H A T

Kiki❤:  
It was a fucking mess  
I found out because she tried to FaceTime him when we were together  
Like  
I was sucking his dick together

큔☀️:  
WHAT WHAT WHAT  
what a fucking scumbag  
DID YOU TELL HER

Kiki❤:  
No  
I wanted to  
But at the same time I couldn't get myself to out him  
Kyun thats not why I'm texting you I don't know how this turned into story time

큔☀️:  
Babe ;;;  
Okay sorry what did you want to tell me

Kiki❤:  
That you're the first guy I'm out with  
And  
Yeah

큔☀️:  
Ahhhh i guess I hadn't thought about it much  
But okay!  
I think?

Kiki❤:  
I just  
Thank you  
Thank you so much  
I'm scared  
Not like of you  
Changkyun I'm sorry I don't know what's going on in my own head right now

큔☀️:  
Hey  
I can come over  
Are you home yet?

Kiki❤:  
I'm waiting for an uber home from the hotel  
I'm sorry I just  
Dropped this on you

By the time Kihyun's Uber pulls up to the house, Changkyun's there, waiting in Candie. Kihyun spots her cherry red like he'd been looking out for it, and walks right up and opens the driver's side door and just as Changkyun opens his mouth to say hi, Kihyun manages to fold himself into the front seat on Changkyun’s lap, between him and the steering wheel.

Changkyun immediately wraps around him. "Hey, it's okay. Are you okay?"

"They're being awkward again. Kibeom won't even hold Hyejin's hand next to me. They're married why the fuck do I care?"

Changkyun kisses the side of his head. "You wanna go inside?"

"No." Kihyun takes a deep breath and Changkyun just rubs up and down his shoulders. They can do this here in this cramped space, sure.

"I'm the first guy you're out with?"

Kihyun's grip gets tight, holding onto him like a lifeline. Changkyun hadn't been expecting it, and goes a little stiff. Kihyun doesn't get like this. He almost regrets bringing the comment up.

"I know that all you wanna do is hold my hand in public and be cute and I get a little weird about it sometimes and I'm sorry."

"No way, some people aren't big on PDA that's a totally normal thing. Totally not a deal breaker." Changkyun tries to close the car door, since they're gonna be here a minute.

"Thanks." Kihyun mumbles against his hair.

"What did they… say?"

The way Kihyun's agitated is almost tangible. Changkyun can feel it against his chest. "I can see that they're trying to be understanding, and that they've really educated themselves on a lot, but they asked if it'd be possible for me to still end up with a woman. And, yeah, it _could_ be."

Changkyun goes cold.

"But I'm with you and don't want to be with anyone else. Guy or girl. Just you."

The car hums, the heat up high. Changkyun doesn't really know what to say to help, and it makes him feel bad. It sucks. And it's going to suck. And there's a lot of unlearning for Kihyun's family to do, a lot of heteronormativity that'll keep popping up, and it's going to be exhausting. Though Changkyun has gotten beyond lucky with his mom, he saw it in others; the misunderstanding and the confusion from other people. It's never ending.

"It's important that they're trying."

"I know, I know." Kihyun sighs. "You smell like smoke. Like grill smoke."

Yeah, he's covered in sauce, too. It's the restaurant.

"You wanna come inside and shower?" Kihyun asks quietly. "I need to shower, too."

Oh? _Oh_?

"Um. You wanna shower together?" Changkyun stares straight ahead.

Kihyun backs off a little, looks down at him. "If you want to, yeah."

Fuck yeah Changkyun wants to. He follows Kihyun inside and snags a change of his clothes from the dresser. They hadn't been left intentionally, but he's wondering if he should start leaving clothes over.

He accepts a clean towel and washcloth, leaves his glasses in the bedroom and follows Kihyun to the bathroom, and they've already had sex and fooled around but Changkyun adverts his gaze shyly when they get undressed. Kihyun starts the water and points out which shampoos and soaps he can use, and then Changkyun steps in the shower.

He jumps back, hissing at the scalding water.

"Shit, that's—" _Hot as fuck_. But Kihyun stands underneath it no problem and even submerges his face under it. Changkyun's jaw drops. "You shower in hellfire."

Kihyun blinks water out of his eyes, uses a hand to push his hair back, and Changkyun would be so much more excited by the visual if there weren't steam curling around them. Changkyun likes warm showers, but not burn his skin off warm.

"This _so_ isn't very top of you."

Kihyun takes a second to process the words, rolls his eyes. "This isn't very bottom of you."

Changkyun curls his lip. Touché. He reaches for the dial and turns it cooler, just a bit. Kihyun watches him very carefully, poised as if to kick Changkyun if he turns the dial too much. They shower circling around each other, and Changkyun grabs Hyungwon’s shampoo instead of Kihyun's, and they bonk heads trying to both get under the shower spray and rinse off at the same time. It's really cute, and they're giggly, and they kiss under the water spray. Kihyun is breathing much easier, seemingly haven shaken off the stress from earlier, and that's all Changkyun wants right now.

"My parents said they wanted you to come along tomorrow. You don't work, right?" Kihyun says as he's digging out the hairdryer from under the sink. He's thrown on a bathrobe but didn't bother to close it and Changkyun is not complaining about the teasing flashes of chest, and stomach, or dick.

"What are you doing tomorrow…?"

"Museums." Kihyun hands over the hairdryer. "Dinner at a bar."

Changkyun nods slowly, processing, _my parents said they wanted you to come along_. Kihyun's parents want him there?

"Yeah. I'm down."

* * *

Now that Dongwon is rested, more clear headed, he isn't shy about sizing Changkyun up. Changkyun meets them at the Fine Arts museum, because that's where they want to go, and Changkyun gets leveled with a look telling him he's on thin ice. He just _got_ here.

Changkyun hangs back, gets chatty with Hyejin, she's super friendly and treats him nicely, not so awkwardly like the others, and he keeps making eye contact with Kihyun, who tries to bounce around to each family member and give them equal amounts of his attention. And things are fine, they really are. Nawoon looks at some cool marble statues with him, they _ooh_ over how amazing the textures are, and they lose each other in the next room of paintings. Changkyun stares at colorful paintings, looks at them sideways, mumbles, "What is this supposed to be?"

Dongwon steps up to him and Changkyun straightens up. He dressed nicely today; a turtle neck, unripped jeans and a pair of boots with a slight heel. Kihyun had done a like, triple take, and snuck a hand on his ass when they walked in behind everyone else. Changkyun laughed and pinched him.

"I like this one. It drew my attention, too." Dongwon barely has an accent, he speaks well.

"Er," Changkyun looks back at the painting. "It looks like a jumble."

Dongwon furrows his brows. "Could you possibly … elaborate?"

Here's the thing: Changkyun wants— like really, really wants— to impress Kihyun's family. He knows he can be kind of a dumbass sometimes, but his heart is always in the right place and he's amazing at the things he's good at: Science. Paintings? Art? This he doesn't understand. This is Minhyuk and Jooheon's world, not his. It appears to be Dongwon's world, too. Dongwon is the kind of guy to wear a fucking sports coat to the museum, match his tie to his socks, a painfully dull polka dot pattern that he probably thinks is just _delightful_ , and uses words like elaborate instead of explain. Getting his approval seems like a bust.

Dongwon's also the kind of guy to completely shut out his son for being queer. So. He’s got that going against him.

But he did fly across the world to see his son. And meet his son's boyfriend. Those two opposing facts balance precariously.

"Uh." Changkyun gestures to the mad strokes. It doesn't look like there's any structure or thought behind the colors. He doesn't get anything from this. Isn't art supposed to make him feel things? "It just looks. Mad. Like, frazzled. Like…" He stares at the blotches. "Like nothing makes sense."

Dongwon hums, stares at the painting like he sees something. Changkyun notices the little placard by the corner. Maybe he should've read that. Maybe he would've made sense and not have made himself into a total ass in front of Kihyun’s father. He tries not to physically pout in frustration.

"It's different from the rest of the paintings in the room." Dongwon says thoughtfully.

Is it? Changkyun glances around. Sure, if Dongwon says so.

"This is a Mitchell painting. She drew things like this, things that seemed spontaneous and unfocused." Dongwon steps next to Changkyun and looks at the painting. Changkyun squints at the placard. The tiny font doesn't look like it says all that. Which means he probably would've been fucked either way. "But she was very meticulous, and all her paintings share a story through landscape. Those are the Alps."

Changkyun blinks at the painting. Those are the _what_.

"She painted this while grieving her father, and dealing with tragic news of her mother's deteriorating health."

The placard definitely doesn't say all this.

"I could recognize her style from across the room." Dongwon takes on a somber mood. Changkyun tries to match it by… slouching his shoulders? No that doesn't feel right. He stands up straight and flips his bangs from his eyes. He didn't put enough hairspray in them and they keep falling in his face.

Changkyun just stares at Dongwon now. Who's still looking at the painting. Changkyun doesn't know what else to look at. "I appreciate your take on this one, it seems you've grasped what she really wanted to say." He did what now. "I am curious about your thoughts on others, though I don't see any more of her art." Dongwon makes an open gesture to another painting. "Talk to me about this one."

The next one is mostly grey.

Admittedly, Changkyun doesn't look at art much. He sucked at drawing fruit in elementary school. He couldn't do perspective, and fuck shading with a pencil. Art class was his worst class. And he doesn't understand what's so special about some paint splatters. He knows that this means stuff to people, and that art is a form of expression and catharsis and he truly respects that, he loves what the arts give. He just can't do it. But he really looks at this next painting. He has no idea what the fuck goes on, but there's a reason there's a whole building dedicated to this, and entire building swarming with people to see this, right? There's a reason why people stand in front of these and just think.

"You're an Orgo-Chem major, correct?"

Changkyun must've really been staring at the painting. He didn't notice Dongwon looking at him.

Wait a second, did he just get lost in the painting? Is he having a revelation? Oh, this is cool.

Dongwon reminds him they're in the middle of a conversation. "Just as Kihyun is?"

"Ah," Changkyun can't believe the painting made him feel so much he forgot where he was. "I am."

"Kihyun never cared for the arts growing up, no matter how much I wanted him to become an artist, or a musician. I wanted him to immerse himself into anything creative."

Yeah, Kihyun has admitted this; said that, for a long time, he felt like a failure. For a long time, he wondered if his father was mad at him. Dongwon, though, smiles as he talks about Kihyun taking another path.

"But Science and Art… are opposite halves of a whole. They work together. We need our Scientists, and our Artists. I'm grateful he found himself where he shines."

"Many scientists were both." Changkyun buffers a little when Dongwon looks at him. Really looks at him, wanting him to continue. "Like, hm, Da Vinci. The Vitruvian man looked at human proportion, how muscles connected. He studied physiognomy through expressions in his paintings, though that's not quite science, but, he did it all through art."

"Physiognomy…" Dongwon smiles just a little. Like he almost doesn't believe Changkyun knows what that means. And wow fuck him. "You wouldn't think of it as a science? To be able to interpret and understand someone solely by their expression?" Is this really the type of conversation Changkyun wants to have right now? He's feeling a little prickly, though.

"There are cues, sure, like smiling if you're happy. But, to like, look at someone and tell by their face if they're altruistic or not? Nah." Changkyun shakes his head. "Aristotle thought that people with big heads were mean, and that's like, judging someone because they got resting bitch face. Greeks became this ideal in ancient Europe and like, everyone else, like, you and me, were considered less moral and less ideal. Really just thinly veiled racism and ableism."

Dongwon just raises an eyebrow. Changkyun realizes he's probably making an ass of himself. Too late, at this point. He's already digging his grave, might as well keep going.

"Evaluating someone based on their reactions to things and situations is more valid. But that's more psych and is _not_ my field. All I know is thinking you know someone's moral and ethical values because of their face is ridiculous."

Dongwon looks at the painting and goes, _hm_. Just like that. Nothing else. Changkyun takes a second to close his eyes and hope that he didn't just totally fuck it up (in a very bad kind of fuck it up) with Kihyun's dad.

A few minutes later in some other room, Changkyun corners Kihyun by an O'Keeffe painting. Hah, he knows something.

"The fuck does your dad do?"

Kihyun frowns at him, whispers back, "What do you mean?"

"Does he do like…" Changkyun gestures to the painting. Oh. Shit. He was wrong. This one is Picasso, not O'Keeffe.

"My dad's an art history professor." Kihyun looks a little confused. "Did I not tell you?"

"No!" Changkyun squeaks, buries his face in his hands. "I just made an ass of myself in front of some painting about a lady grieving her dead dad."

Kihyun, who also has a Science Brain and not an Art Brain, looks bewildered. "There was a painting of a dead guy?"

* * *

There's a traveling exhibition on mummies. Cool, Changkyun can do mummies. They rely less on feeling and a whole lot on science and just really cool ancient culture beliefs and traditions. This is the type of stuff that he finds interesting. No offense, oil on canvas, but that moment he had in front of the grey painting made him feel a lot and he already feels too much.

Somehow, Dongwon ends up at Changkyun's side again, seemingly not at all thinking of their interaction by the paintings. Nawoon trails behind, Kibeom behind them. Kihyun's trailing even further behind, he's translating for Hyejin, until Kibeom tears his gaze away from the wall of fun facts and realizes his wife isn't at his side.

"How…" Nawoon doesn't speak English as well as the rest of her family. It’s still really good, but she really chews her words before she speaks. Changkyun's super patient with her because his brain does the same thing with Korean.

"How does this happen?" Nawoon points at the photos of mummies, bodies wrapped.

"By taking out the organs, drying everything up, and wrapping them." Changkyun explains.

"How does it work though?" Nawoon asks slowly, looking at Changkyun for information.

"So, uh, when the body starts autolysis, acidity levels rise and enzymes start breaking down in the organs, and the body decays.” He hopes this makes it easy to understand the process more, for both of them. “The Egyptians would remove all the organs, and dry everything out with salt. And when there's no moisture, bacteria doesn't grow. So." Changkyun taps against the photo of a tomb. "Mummies."

"Salt…?" Nawoon looks surprised. "Salt does this?"

"Uh, not table salt. Natron is the specific type of salt. It's a sodium carbonate decahydrate and sodium bicarbonate…" wait he's getting too ahead of himself, they don't know what any of these words mean. "It's. Uh. Soda ash and baking soda. It's pretty natural, uh, Earth salt."

Both Kihyun's parents blink at him and he panics a little, thinking he's over done it. Now he really looks like an asshole.

"How did they know to do this?" Nawoon looks back at the photos.

Changkyun thinks he might be in the green. He moves a little closer to Nawoon and looks at what she's reading, and does his best to put it into other words for her to understand better.

"My dad likes you." Even Kihyun appears to be surprised. "My dad. _Likes_ you."

"I want to say something like 'oh you didn't believe in me?' but even I'm too surprised. I really thought that whole physiognomy conversation by the one…" Changkyun does brush stroke motions with his hand. "The grey paint one, was the end of it."

"No. I think that's what impressed him. You don't realize how smart you are, Kyunnie."

Kihyun flops in his bed. The day went on to drag for what felt like days, and they'd finished with dinner and ice cream at a spot by the water. Kihyun's family is back at the hotel, and Changkyun and Kihyun are back at Kihyun's, freshly showered and exhausted.

"My feet are killing me." Changkyun climbs into bed parallel to Kihyun, except Kihyun's head is by his feet.

"Gimme." Kihyun reaches for Changkyun's foot, sits up in with the worst posture Changkyun's ever seen on him. Not that he can blame it, today had been exhausting.

Kihyun digs his two thumbs into the sole of Changkyun's foot and it's like he's died and gone to heaven. He makes an incoherent noise and relaxes, and Kihyun digs his fingers into Changkyun's foot and yep, he's going to start purring like a cat.

Changkyun returns the favor, massaging Kihyun's feet, and eventually they both pass the fuck out.

* * *

It got too cold, sleeping on top of the blankets instead of underneath them, so they wake up during the middle of the night. Changkyun pulls on a pair of boxers and Kihyun just a huge t-shirt, they tangle under the blankets and just as they fall asleep Changkyun mumbles,

"I wasn't supposed to sleep here tonight."

"Whatever. Text Ali you're not going home and come cuddle me."

Now it's morning. It's bright and sunny and it's still cold as balls. Changkyun pats around for his phone, realizes he texted his mom from Kihyun's phone last night. He checks the message preview and ignores all the others since it's not his phone, he doesn't know at what point it's okay to look at his boyfriend’s phone without it being considered snooping. Ali had only sent a thumbs up emoji in response that morning. Cool. But where's his phone?

He thinks, if he remembers correctly, he left it on the kitchen table.

Is it important? No. Does Changkyun really want his phone anyway? Yes.

He detaches from Kihyun and puts his feet on the cold ground and winces. Awful, awful, awful. So not worth it. But he pads through the room and into the hallway, not thinking twice about being half-naked. He's only like, thirty seconds away from being back under the covers with the love of his life and they'll sleep a little longer.

Kihyun's family is in the living room, talking to Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo's expression goes comically wide when he spots Changkyun standing in the living room entrance, in just a pair of boxers.

Changkyun turns around, goes back into the bedroom, buries himself clumsily under the covers and hopes he'll just suffocate under here.

The image of Nawoon's shocked expression, Kibeom's amused little glare, and Dongwon's very, very, wide eyed shock just replay in Changkyun’s head like a movie. All that love they've had for him, probably gone. He should've put pants on. _He should've put pants on._

"Kyunnie?" Kihyun is too tired to fight the blankets off him, so he goes underneath, too. "What are you doing." He slurs tiredly, lifting the blanket so it domes above their head.

"I'm gonna wear pants even in the shower."

Kihyun rubs the corner of his eye. "You're gonna what? What are you talking about?" His arm gives in and the blanket comes down. "Ugh."

"I went into the living room because I wanted to get my phone but I'm not wearing pants and your whole family got a view of my dick."

Kihyun lifts the blankets and looks as if he expects Changkyun to be naked. He's not. He's in boxers. "They'll live."

"But I won't."

"You'll live." Kihyun kisses his forehead. "Let's get up."

"Oh my god now they know we sleep together like this."

Always productive in the morning, Kihyun actually gets up. It's barely eight-thirty. He pats Changkyun's hip and keeps patting and Changkyun can hear him take a deep breath. And another. It gets a little shaky at the end, and the next one is quicker. Kihyun’s hand stops patting Changkyun, then slips off quickly.

Changkyun lifts the blankets, breathes in something awfully thick, the air in the room stiff. He looks up at Kihyun, who's frazzled, his chest rising and sinking, rising and sinking, his eyes unfocused and staring straight down.

That's a panic attack.

Changkyun sits up, gets to his knees and kneels besides Kihyun, almost toppling over when he loses balance on the mattress.

"Hey." Changkyun keeps his voice steady, one hand reaching to touch Kihyun's shoulder. He jolts, his jaw strains, and the tears well up and pour over before Kihyun can even process he's crying.

" _Fuck_. What the fuck," Kihyun's voice shakes and his hands come up to his face. He digs the heels of his palms into his hands and mumbles in Korean.

This time when Changkyun reaches out to hold him, Kihyun doesn't object. But his body shakes. He shakes so much his teeth clatter and Changkyun twists himself to get into Kihyun's lap and hook his shoulder under his chin. The clattering stops and Kihyun doesn't hold him back, but presses against him.

"I-I don't know…"

"No, it's okay. Don't talk." Changkyun curls his arms around Kihyun's head and pulls him in close. "Is it okay if I do this?" When Changkyun has panic attacks, being held helps him. It makes him feel secure and safe. Kihyun, though, pushes back a little, so Changkyun climbs off his lap and gives breathing space.

"Sit up, c'mon." Changkyun pulls Kihyun to the edge of the bed, where there's open air behind him and in front of him, and Changkyun runs his hand slowly across Kihyun's back.

"Count." Changkyun starts his hand on one shoulder, drags it slowly. "One, two, three, four…"

Kihyun counts in Korean, they get to fourby the time Changkyun's hand makes it to his other shoulder. And Changkyun tells him to exhale. Kihyun breathes out too fast. So they try it again, and Kihyun's hand comes out to rest on Changkyun's leg. He grips a little too hard, then breathes out properly.

"I had a dream last night I was Rapunzel." Changkyun keeps stroking Kihyun's back. "Long hair, super cute face. I was a woman. You would've _loved_ it." Changkyun uses his free hand to rest on Kihyun's, the one that's on his leg, and Kihyun laughs a little, airy and awkward. He starts speaking, makes a sound Changkyun can't quite decipher as a word. Nothing more comes out.

"So I lived in this tower and I was not some barely legal eighteen year old like the Disney movies I was an adult that…? I think I was friends with the dragon guarding the tower? It was sassy. Might've been Minhyuk. Possibly…. Hyungwon…? Anyway. You came and you were a beautiful, beautiful woman. Long brown hair, a super cute fringe." Changkyun can see that Kihyun is breathing easier now, so he rubs his hand a little faster, at a more regular breathing pace, and sees that Kihyun is following it. "No matter what universe we're in we're gay as fuck and I _love_ this for us."

Kihyun moves the hand that's underneath Changkyun's, and he immediately pulls away but Kihyun grabs at him, holds his hand tight.

"And the dragon was like 'should I let this knight pass? This one is your type.' Which means Dragon Won was toasting the men. Which, like, deserved."

Kihyun's chuckling now. Still looking down, though.

"And I pretended to sleep when you came up and you were like, 'A true love's kiss will wake her!' And then you kissed me and I freaked the fuck out because how was I supposed to know if you were my true love?"

Changkyun looks at Kihyun and holds his hand a little tighter. Kihyun's eyes are watery, tear stains down his face. Changkyun reaches up and wipes them away with his fingers.

"I'm glad Dragon Won didn't toast you."

Kihyun takes a deep breath, a shuddering one, like he'd just cried for hours. "I have no idea what the fuck just happened."

Changkyun studies him a little bit. "What do you… mean…?"

"What do you mean what do I mean?"

Changkyun pauses a moment. "You don't know you just had a panic attack?"

Kihyun stops, opens his mouth then closes it. "That was a panic attack…?"

"Have you never had one before…?" Changkyun closes both his hands around Kihyun's. He knew Kihyun didn't have anxiety like him but, wow. His first panic attack at twenty-seven? Changkyun has been having them consistently since he was like, eleven.

"I…" Kihyun blinks at him. "No." And then Kihyun's expression twists. "Is that what you go through every time you say you had a 'freak-out'?"

"It usually lasts a little longer, but uh. Yeah." Changkyun has been knocked on his ass by a few the past semester. He doesn't usually talk about them and locks himself inside his room when it happens and re-emerges like everything's okay.

"You can call me." Kihyun looks pretty mortified. "Anytime that happens."

As if his anxiety would let him. "Uh. Thank you."

Changkyun gives Kihyun whatever time he needs, which is a good minute of him just shaking off the feeling.

"Do you need a minute? I can stay here, I can go distract your family." Changkyun doesn't get up but he's ready to if Kihyun needs him to. Kihyun shakes his head though.

"I'm okay." He offers a small smile. "It passed…"

"We can talk about it? Later?" Changkyun kisses Kihyun's cheek. Kihyun has been radiating _worry_ for weeks now: the end of the semester and the start of a new one, his parents, his sexuality, the first boyfriend he's out with. Originally Changkyun wasn't a part of the plans, maybe a lunch or dinner, but he wasn't supposed to be going to the museum, or dinner, or whatever the fuck they're going to do today. So, yeah, Changkyun gets it. He really gets it. Being with Kihyun's family has put a stress on him that hurts his chest when he thinks about it. Because it's a lot at once; how much of their lives have become so open to one another. And Kihyun, open and loving and trusting Kihyun, is everything Changkyun didn't think he'd ever get to have. And he hopes that he manages to give even a fraction of that back.

He stops Kihyun before they step out into the hall. They're both dressed in pants and sweaters now, much more presentable. Changkyun works on pushing Kihyun's hair back out of his face and unflattening the side he slept on.

"I love you." Changkyun isn't the type to say it, he's the type to show it but the type that wants to hear it a lot. Kihyun is the type to show it, too. Unless it's just the two of them. He'll say it until Changkyun believes it.

"Love you too." Kihyun presses a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you…"

"I got you." Changkyun says softly, just before they head out to the living room together to say good morning to Kihyun's family.

* * *

Changkyun has breakfast with them, then goes to the gardens with them. The next day, they invite him out for lunch. Changkyun keeps trying to slip some cash to Kihyun's family because they keep covering his portion of the bills, but they won't accept it. So Changkyun stops, in hopes to not seem rude.

Every conversation with Dongwon is a game. Changkyun knows he's being tested, that every word and every mannerism is being scrutinized. Changkyun never realized how much he moved his hands around when he spoke, or how often he pretends to flip hair over his shoulder. He never realized that he's kind of… flamboyant. Not that it's a bad thing. But he knows that Dongwon takes all that into consideration and must be looking at him and fitting him into all the stereotypes. It doesn't make Changkyun uncomfortable, necessarily, but he wonders what Dongwon's end game is. Because Nawoon has seemed to move right the fuck along. She was definitely awkward around Changkyun in the beginning, but after their discussion on mummies at the museum a few days ago, she doesn't treat Changkyun in any way that would make him think she doesn't like him. He actually thinks she does like him.

Dongwon though? A mystery. Kihyun was so sure they had his approval, but things are testy now. Sometimes they have good conversation and he's smiling, sometimes he looks confused.

For dinner, they go to a chill, family owned restaurant. The place is dimly lit, the music isn't too loud so they can talk around the table, and it has adorable, mismatched china. They get a table in the corner and Kihyun sits on the end, Changkyun between him and Hyejin.

Kihyun spins around, ducking his head and going, "Shit," then he glances at his parents faces and goes, " _Shit_ ," because he cussed in front of his parents and they're both frowning. Then he realizes what he did and groans.

Changkyun goes into Boyfriend Mode and puts a hand on Kihyun's shoulder, trying to be discreet and look around. "What's wrong?"

"That blonde girl is Hayley." Kihyun whispers.

Changkyun bites back his smile. Sorry, Kihyun's sanity, but this is too funny. Spotting his one night stand while he's with his boyfriend and family on a nice nightly outing? Kihyun pissed off Karma at one point and it’s coming back to him.

He must've really pissed Karma off, because Hayley is coming over, unaware of what's waiting for her at the corner table until she's here, pulling out a pen and clicking it, smiling widely.

"Good evening, guys! I'm Hayley, I'm—" She and Kihyun make eye contact. They both stop and Hayley blinks, tries to recompose herself. "I'm your uh, um," She laughs nervously. "Your server. Can I get you guys anything besides water?"

It's mostly no's, Hyejin and Changkyun want sodas though, Hyejin has to fight Changkyun on whether Pepsi is better than Coke and Changkyun has to gasp dramatically and fake gag when she says Coke. Truly a crime. Hyejin laughs and gives him a shove, and Changkyun turns to see Kihyun probably the brightest shade of red he's ever seen.

"Do you know the waitress?" Nawoon leans over and Kihyun starts off with a shrug, but Changkyun interjects.

"I know your type is… waiters? What is it? The little apron we wear? Does that just _tickle_ you in all the right spots?" Changkyun laughs as Kihyun kicks him under the table.

"Did you date her?" Kibeom looks so scandalized, and a little panicked in Changkyun’s direction.

Changkyun nods for Kihyun. ‘Date’ isn't the right word, but for the sake of everyone at the table, that's totally what they did. Though Changkyun catches Hyejin's eye and she squints at him a little. And he squints back. And she opens her mouth into a little 'o'. Yep, she's picking up what Changkyun’s putting down: one night stand. Hyejin is very discreet about it and looks away.

Changkyun can't help but look at Hayley though, and just, wonder. He watches her from the corner of his eye as she flirts around the restaurant, makes customers laugh and smile. She's so pretty, too. Changkyun thinks she's a natural blonde, she has wide blue eyes, a heart shaped face, her hair is in one of those buns Changkyun never understood; where's the hair tie? Does it hurt to unbury it out of all that hair? And the small apron she wears pulled tight around her waist accentuates her shape, and her ass. She has a really nice ass. Maybe that's Kihyun's thing: asses.

The way Kihyun short circuited when Changkyun wore the shorts, the stares, the constant hands on Changkyun's ass? Yeah. Kihyun's an ass guy.

"What would you like to eat?"

Changkyun blinks up at Dongwon and smiles. He looks down at the menu and picks the first thing off the menu; some gyro.

When Hayley comes back around she hands out their waters and sodas and Changkyun says the name of whatever he had picked at random. Hayley smiles at them, and she's really good at pretending, because she eases into a sense of professionalism and doesn't call Kihyun by his name or act strange with him. Kihyun relaxes, but Changkyun finds himself just watching her. Because Hayley looks at them a lot.

"So your boyfriend is here and your ex-girlfriend is there." Congrats, Kibeom, on not being able to read the room. Again. Hyejin slaps his hand out of the air when he points at Haley. Thankfully she isn't looking.

"C'mon, do you have to right now?" Kihyun hisses, and something about his tone sounds so much more dangerous in Korean. It's so fluid.

Kibeom nurses his hand where Hyejin slapped him. "I'm just trying to understand how you do… both…" Nawoon and Dongwon go pale. And Changkyun freezes. "And like one more than the other. Because you've—" Hyejin elbows him to shut him up.

"Like one… more than the other? You mean, as people? Or are you talking about sex?" Damn. Kihyun is pissed. Changkyun leans back in his seat a little and pulls his hands onto his lap. Kihyun looks like he's about to throw something, his cutlery being the closest thing to him right now.

But then Changkyun remembers what Kihyun said about their last dinner together before he came to the U.S., and how Kibeom has no trouble throwing him in front of the bus. This could get awkward real quick.

Kibeom glances between Kihyun and Changkyun. "So you're sure you… like each other?"

Kihyun's voice is low and threatening and Changkyun winces. "Are you asking me if we've had sex?" And Changkyun just _projects_ himself into another dimension. He'd rather be on Mars than have this discussion in front of Kihyun's family. Kibeom turns red, furrows his brow a little, but Kihyun furiously trudges on, "I've had sex with men."

Nawoon clears her throat and Hyejin looks away. Kibeom glances, slightly horrified, at Changkyun. Then back at Kihyun. Kihyun said _men_ , generally, not _Changkyun_ , but the implication is there, and they know that Changkyun and Kihyun sleep in the same bed, half-naked sometimes, as they received that visual. And while Changkyun knows that Ali knows what he's doing with Kihyun, and he would feel comfortable saying 'yes we're having sex' would this type of conversation ever come up with her, since Ali has literally brought him condoms from the hospital, he doesn't know Kihyun's family. All he knows is this bisexual thing is difficult for them. This is not a conversation they can have. Abort, _abort_.

"I'm sorry was that _too_ personal of a response for the personal question you asked?" Kihyun leans over and Changkyun puts a hand on his shoulder. "You asked me last time if I was one-hundred percent sure I was into guys and if I'd done anything to be sure of that and I didn't know how to answer. But since you want to keep pushing it—"

"Alright, hold up." Having Kihyun's angry glare turn towards him makes Changkyun's spine crawl. Except Kihyun leans back, has a moment where he realizes that he went too far.

Kibeom frowns and leans back, Hyejin nudging him again.

Hayley comes back around to check in on them. She picks up that something isn't right, spots Changkyun's hand on Kihyun's waist, where it's slipped to, and leaves with a smile.

"You all wanted Kyun here, so don't make him uncomfortable." Kihyun slips a hand into Changkyun's under the table, but everyone can see he's doing it. He brings their interlaced hands up to the table and Changkyun just. Stares at it. It's such a stupid thing, it's so basic, it's something Changkyun would do with his friends, but holding hands with Kihyun out in public means so much to him. It's such a simple gesture; a we're together announcement to the world and it's so innocent but people look at them sideways, and others don't realize how lucky they are to be able to do this with their own spouses without fear of having someone come up to them with hostile intentions. Kihyun doing this in front of his family when he’d explicitly stated no PDA and has avoided it every day so far means a lot to Changkyun.

Nawoon looks at Changkyun and he tears his gaze away from his and Kihyun’s hands to look right back at her.

"I think Changkyun's prettier than her." Kibeom says. It comes out rushed, but its sort of nice to know he's trying to fix his fuck up.

Nawoon looks back at Changkyun. "You are a very handsome man." She smiles and looks at Kihyun. "A very good looking couple. You compliment each other well."

Maybe it's not quite what Changkyun was hoping for in terms of apologies, but he thinks that's the best he'll get.

Dongwon has been awfully quiet the night so far, and his gaze trails from Changkyun to Hayley and something about that makes Changkyun want to cry.

* * *

Kihyun apologizes a thousand times, holds him tight that night, and tells him if he wants, he doesn't have to go along the next day. Changkyun doesn't want to look like he's really taken those comments to heart, but Kihyun's family is only here for another three days. He sits out the next day for work, and the day after that Kihyun tells him that Dongwon wants him along.

They go to Quincy Market, and it's packed, as usual. Changkyun shoves between people and keeps his hand locked with Kihyun's to not lose him, but they lose Nawoon and Hyejin by one of the fudge shops, and have to go back and find them. And Nawoon’s eyeing the coconut almond ones, and Changkyun has to buy some. He buys a few extra squares too and asks for them to be put in a separate bag.

"Hopefully they don't melt before I get home." Changkyun holds the bag dearly. "Though my mom will still eat them either way."

"Did you get her the raspberry one?" Kihyun scans the options, peering in Changkyun’s bag of fudge goodies.

"There's a— where is it?" Changkyun spins back to look at the glass. Raspberry is Ali's favorite. Kihyun points it out and Changkyun complains about getting back in line but does it for his mom. By the time he buys it and turns around, Kihyun and Dongwon are talking and laughing about something, but Dongwon's gaze is very pointed at him when Kihyun turns around. Except then he's at Changkyun's friend again, tagging along to hunt down a table to sit at. They find one outside, and it sucks because it's cold, and the heaters above their head aren't doing much, but Quincy Market looks kind of pretty with the dusting of snow.

Dongwon goes with Changkyun to get food when everyone else comes back to secure the table, and in that moment Changkyun and Kihyun's couples telepathy activates, because Changkyun knows that Kihyun's asking _do you need me to come too_ when he lifts an eyebrow, and Changkyun presses his lips together and doesn't even need to shake his head for Kihyun to understand, _I'm fine._

Wow. What cute shit.

"What do you recommend?" Dongwon stands very close to Changkyun in the deli line.

"Uh," Changkyun glances down at him, then at the menu. "Do you like lobster?"

Dongwon nods slowly. "I do. What will you eat?"

"Probably the, uh," Changkyun blanks for a second. "The, Italian?"

"I don't think I've had it."

"We could… you can have some. Like, you can try some of mine." Being alone with Dongwon makes him nervous.

Dongwon smiles and pats a hand on Changkyun’s shoulder. "I'd like that."

Wow, Changkyun is sweating.

They order and Changkyun insists on paying, and they step to the side near a group of girls, and where the staff builds sandwiches, and Dongwon stands shoulder to shoulder with Changkyun again. Just before it can get awkward, Dongwon starts and makes it more awkward.

"When my son told me he liked men, I couldn't believe it."

Changkyun stiffens, swears his neck creaks as he tilts to look at Dongwon. They're going to do this now?

"And I threw the words shameful and disappointed in his face, as if that would change anything, as if that was what a parent was supposed to do. Because all my life I've heard of; gay—" that's not what Kihyun is, though, "Lesbian, bisexual…" okay, they're getting somewhere. "But it's never something I thought would come so close to home. I wanted Kihyun to find a Korean girl, have children: the normal routine. That’s the only way I could imagine it."

Changkyun counts his breaths. They're really doing this right now? In public? In English? Fuck. He feels something angry twist in his stomach.

"I thought I knew him, knew what was best for him. And then he was gone, in a foreign country, so far away. And that physical distance made me realize how little I knew my son. I…" Dongwon sighs, deep and troubled. "I don't even know what types of fudge he would eat. But you do. And, more than that, he knows what flavor your mother likes. He said that he spends a lot of time at your home, with your family."

It wasn't weird in the moment, and it still isn't, but Changkyun can't believe he didn't notice that Kihyun knows what flavor chocolates Ali likes. Because, well, why wouldn't he? He talks to Ali, he hangs around the house, he shares hot chocolate with her.

"My son, who went to another country to chase his dreams of a masters, my son, who was the strong willed and independent man I've always wanted him to be. And I, suddenly, couldn't understand why I let the rest of the world tell me I should be any less proud of him."

Dongwon looks at Changkyun. It doesn't make him prickle on the defensive. It's inviting.

"Should I be less proud of my son? Because he also likes men? It seems so ridiculous. I want him to thrive, be happy and live a life he worked for. I want him to find someone that loves all those things about him. Just like Hyejin, who is patient with Kibeom but strict when she needs to be. They take such good care of each other. And now there’s you and Kihyun. My son loves you."

Changkyun sucks in a breath, holds back his tears with a force he's never had to exert before.

"I don't know why I couldn't support him from the beginning. And while I couldn't, you stepped up, and you've made him happy and given him all the love he deserves. And I don't see why some people would consider that abnormal."

Dongwon puts a hand on Changkyun’s shoulder. If Changkyun opens his mouth, if he blinks, if he even so much as breathes, he's going to _sob_.

"You are an incredible man."

Oh no there's more. Changkyun already wants to throw his arms around Dongwon and cry.

"Thank you for being there for Kihyun. Thank you for being my son's home away from home."

Changkyun glances over at the deli workers and makes frantic eye contact with the guy behind the counter that makes a frantic gesture at the two wrapped subs sitting on the glass. He glances between Changkyun and Dongwon and quickly spins back around.

Great. This man heard all of that.

Changkyun grabs for the subs and squeaks, "Thank you," and presents them to Dongwon and says, even shakier, "Thank you."

They head back outside and this is probably the longest Changkyun has ever held his tears back. He thinks he's doing okay but his chest hurts, and his jaw, and behind his eyes, and down his neck, as he strains. And then he realizes that he and Kihyun have officially unlocked that no words needed part of their relationship and drops his sandwich down on the table and says, "Gotta pee, be right back."

As he makes his way back into Quincy Market, he swears he hears Kihyun say he's using the bathroom, too. So Changkyun goes to the bathrooms and finds a stall and locks himself in it but the tears are already streaming down his face.

He hears Kihyun on the other side of the door, "Hi, sorry." And then frantically, "Changkyun? Where are you?"

Changkyun buries his face in his hands and the tears pool in his palms, run down his wrists and arms and _ugh_ that's uncomfortable.

"Changkyun? Kyunnie?" Kihyun taps on the stall door. "Open up. Are you okay?" To someone else, "Sorry, sorry. My boyfriend’s in here."

"I'm fine it's cool." Changkyun winces as his own squeaky voice echoes back at him. Now the whole bathroom knows he's crying. Great.

"Open this door." Kihyun knocks again. "Kyunnie, please. What did my dad say to you?" And then in Korean, "People are looking they're going to misinterpret." And then. "Ugh, this is gross."

And then Kihyun's standing in front him.

Changkyun jumps, presses back into the stall. "Did you just _crawl_ under the _door_."

Kihyun holds his hands out like they're infected. "Why are you crying? What happened?" He whines, and Changkyun's caught between crying and laughing. "Oh my god I touched this floor ew, ew, _ew_."

Now Changkyun's officially laughing, and he unlocks the stall door so Kihyun can rush to scrub his hands. The man at the sink next to him glances between them, as if trying to read the situation. It must look a lot better now, since Changkyun is laughing instead of crying and shutting his boyfriend out with a bathroom stall door. Kihyun dries off his hands and slips back into the stall and closes the door, then opens it, then makes contact with a really weirded out dude.

"Can we not do this in here?"

Changkyun covers his face with his hands and swallows a sob. It's leftover from the ones he held back earlier, and there's more he'll unleash later when he and Kihyun are home. There's no way he's going home tonight. He's going to cling to Kihyun like the neediest boyfriend in the world.

"Your dad said he likes me." Nevermind on the tears coming back later they're coming back now. "And that I was your home away from home and he's so happy we have each other." Kihyun cups Changkyun’s face, and they're still warm from the hot water, and Changkyun gets a mental picture of Kihyun crawling underneath a public restroom stall for him. "I can't believe I didn't get to see you crawl under this door that must’ve looked so funny."

Kihyun leans in and squishes his face. "Can we get out of here?"

Changkyun flops into his neck and wraps a hand around his waist. "Yeah. Can you get me a wet tissue?"

* * *

Kihyun's parents _accept_ him; them, and though there's a lot they still clearly don't understand, or have a lot to unlearn, they're willing to listen, and that speaks volumes. Kihyun is the happiest Changkyun has seen him in a while, all his worries wiped away, and when they crash into bed that night neither of them are tired.

"Can't believe this trip started with a panic attack." Kihyun mumbles, and Changkyun smiles at him. "That was awful."

"Still can't believe that was your first one ever. Do you know what you were stressed about?" Changkyun puts his phone down, Puppy Pile going off about the news of Kihyun's dad, and Minhyuk threatening Kibeom's life for his inappropriate dinner questions. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Kihyun gets quiet. And it mellows out. Changkyun turns on his side to look at Kihyun, face smushed into the pillow.

"I don't really… know? I had a minor freak out when we were at the airport. And I think it's just been… piling up since then. I was so worried about my parents, and them being here made me think about how my life is, which isn't _bad_." Kihyun finally looks at Changkyun. "As scared as I was to come here, things ended up a lot better than I imagined." It's almost like Kihyun is telling him that he's a huge part of what Kihyun loves about being here. "And that… I want to stay here."

Changkyun swallows. "What do you mean?"

"I used to…" Kihyun snuggles the pillow closer, obstructing half his face. "I used to think about going back to Seoul after my master's. I used to think about being the good son and finding a pretty Korean girl, start a family, to make my family happy. And it's not like I don't like girls. So, I could've been happy with one. But now I think I'm staying here."

Slowly, very slowly, Changkyun's heart crawls its way into his mouth.

"Just… thoughts of where I _was_ and where I can be and where I _want_ to be and just the stress of my family being here and me really wanting them to like and accept you. But I never wanted to make you uncomfortable and I realized how much I fucking love…" Kihyun tries to reel it back. He’s definitely about to cry. "I really love you."

Changkyun sniffles. Here come the tears, here they come. He leans in really close and presses his forehead to Kihyun's.

"I love you, too."

Kihyun clings to the pillow. Leans back. He searches Changkyun's face, his own a little watery. And Changkyun knows what Kihyun's looking for: hesitance. Because Kihyun just admitted to wanting to stay in the U.S because Changkyun changed his mind about leaving. That's a lot to unload on someone. But he's also admitting to wanting to do things for himself, which is a huge move and a huge step up and that's the part Changkyun has to respect before anything else. No matter how much he wants to be selfish and say that Kihyun's doing all this for him; that's not it. He's a part of the picture, but he doesn't fill it. Changkyun moves in again, and kisses Kihyun softly, _I hear you and I love you._

Changkyun kisses him again, because even if Kihyun's parents had rejected them, he knows they would've worked through it together. And he knows that a part of Kihyun had been preparing for that, and went out to see them on his own anyway, and that's a lot to face on his own.

It's a lot to try and swallow, but Changkyun never really thought about the impact he had on Kihyun's life. He didn't think, in all his jokes and dumbassery, Kihyun really saw him as such an inspiration.

"Is this where you're happiest?" Changkyun asks, because if Kihyun weren't happy, Changkyun doesn't know what he'd do.

"Yeah." Kihyun kisses Changkyun. "You make me happy."

"If that…" Changkyun frowns at the thoughts that come to him. "If that ever changes…"

"Changkyun."

"If that ever changes." Changkyun repeats, because even if things are great now, the future is unpredictable. "Just be honest and open with me."

Kihyun gets way too quiet.

"Then." He takes a deep breath. "Do you think it'll change?"

"No." Because it's the truth. "As long as we work on this together, and are always open with each other, we'll be fine. And that's why I love you so much. Because I trust you not to lie to me. And I wouldn't lie to you. So, you're stuck with me." Is it okay to say these things? "For a really, really long time."

 _Forever_ would be a lot right now.

Kihyun moves in close and kisses him. "Thank you."

"For what?" Changkyun kisses him back, slow and meaningful.

"For everything."

Kihyun kisses him again, and everything is so quiet, stilled by the soft sound of their lips.

Changkyun doesn't think, _what if we break up,_ when it comes to Kihyun, because Kihyun is open with him, because Kihyun hasn't given him a reason to be doubted. But Changkyun knows that sometimes things get hard and life finds its way into shitty situations. And they'll argue, and sometimes get under each other's skin, but as long as they communicate, they'll get through everything.

* * *

On their last night, the whole gang gets together in Kihyun's living room for a game night. It's the chillest night, Hyungwon has so many teas to go around, and they treat Kihyun's family to good old American food: burgers and fries. And Kibeom tries Changkyun's pink sauce while Kihyun makes a face of pure disgust.

On the edge of his seat, Changkyun waits for Kibeom's verdict. The man has a little flair for the dramatics, because he smacks his lips before giving a little thumbs up.

"You, sir." Changkyun gives him a little applause and pushes the small bowl of it over towards him. "Good taste." And Kibeom digs in.

"You really don't like this?" Kibeom points at the hastily mixed sauce, and Kihyun and Minhyuk both say no at the same time.

Minhyuk has one of his playlists going, and it's nothing too loud, just some background music, some sweet mellow vibes, until a Red Velvet song comes up, and Changkyun and Hyejin both know the point moves. Kihyun watches with a sort of fondness, and it must be really nice for him to watch Changkyun integrate so nicely into his family.

"Okay." Dongwon stands. Even for a night in, he's wearing a polo tucked into a pair of jeans. "Teach me."

And Changkyun spends their last night teaching Kihyun's father how to dance Red Flavor, Kibeom shrieking and recording the whole thing.

* * *

Changkyun presses his forehead against the side of Kihyun's face. And stays.

And stays.

And stays a little longer.

"Okay." Kihyun finally gives in. "What do you want."

"I'm trying to see if it works." Changkyun closes his eyes and puts his index and middle finger to his temples, projecting his thoughts at Kihyun. Maybe a miracle will happen and it’ll work.

"What are you… Here. Maybe if we do this." Kihyun turns to face Changkyun and now their foreheads are touching. He's so close Changkyun goes cross eyed and still can't quite see him.

"I don't think we've unlocked this level of reading each others minds."

Kihyun smiles, amused and eyes gittering. He kisses Changkyun sweetly. "What level? Are you thinking about Oreos?"

Changkyun leans back, thoughts derailed. "You predicted my _future_ thoughts."

Kihyun just laughs, cups Changkyun's face in a way that still makes him all jelly inside, and presses their foreheads together.

"Let me try it again."

This time, Changkyun whispers it. "Give me the dick." He opens one eye and sees Kihyun holding back his laughter. "Can you hear my thoughts now?"

"I think it's coming to me."

Changkyun playfully jabs a finger into his side and Kihyun squeaks. Adorable. Stupidly adorably.

"Dick me down. Dick, dick, dick, dick." Changkyun presses their foreheads together and climbs into Kihyun's lap as Kihyun laughs, his smile the widest Changkyun has seen in _weeks_. He was so incredibly stressed about his family, it's so good to be on the other side of it now, just relaxing, realizing that it could've been worse, that things, in the end, are going to be okay. Kihyun's family likes Changkyun. They like him. As long as Kihyun's happy, they're happy. And Kihyun kisses him so fully, in a way that tells Changkyun just how happy he truly is.

"Would you go to Korea with me?"

Changkyun stalls out, leans back and stares at Kihyun, his lips soft and tingly from all their kissing. "What?"

Kihyun leans back against the couch. Ugh, he looks so good, hair fluffy, skin clear and smooth from a face mask. His eye bags are almost non-existent, he looks well rested. Cuddly and so boyfriend. Changkyun moves to hug him.

"When?" He asks, all breathy.

"Maybe at the end of the year? My parents want us to visit them. They'll help pay for plane tickets."

Changkyun closes his eyes, hooks his chin over Kihyun's shoulder to hide how wide he's grinning. "I don't know if I can accept plane tickets from them… those shits are expensive."

"Help. Not cover it." Kihyun says. "You have family in Seoul, right? Maybe you… or us...?" Kihyun makes a funny face at the suggestion, like it might get turned down. "Could visit them. And it'd be nice for you to visit my childhood home."

Changkyun nods and wraps his arms around Kihyun, kisses him and leads him back towards the bedroom.

Hoseok says, "Good night," as he passes them in the hall.

"Night!" They call back. And Kihyun shuts the bedroom door behind them, forgetting any all Serious conversation they were having, and lifts Changkyun. Changkyun smiles and wraps his legs around Kihyun's waist, grins, and cups his face and kisses him deeply just before he's dropped on the bed and gets busy pulling off his pj's.

It's been two weeks since they've done anything: they were busy the week upcoming The Visit, or Kihyun was too frazzled to get in the mood, they were too tired the week during, and Kihyun couldn't relax. All fair and valid but now Kihyun is freer and lax, and a lot happened and Changkyun just wants to kiss his boyfriend a hell of a lot and suck his dick. Small acts of appreciation.

"Tell me more about this trip to Korea." This trip all the way across the world, this trip that'll bring them even more into each other lives.

Kihyun pulls his shirt off and gets between Changkyun's legs. "I want to go for two weeks, we'll spend some time at my house." Kihyun kisses down Changkyun's neck. He angles his head back, hooks his arms around Kihyun’s neck, and melts into it. "Maybe some time at a hotel."

"A _love_ hotel."

"No." Kihyun kisses his jawline and mumbles, "Shut up." And Changkyun giggles.

"And you can see where I went to school , and where I grew up, and I'll show you off to all my friends growing up, the lady next door, my aunts and uncles and everyone."

Changkyun moans softly as Kihyun moves down his neck again, runs a hand through his hair to mess it up. Kihyun looks so good with sex hair. Kihyun looks so good with that starry look in his eyes, thinking about their future. Changkyun swallows, can't believe how fucking lucky he got with Kihyun.

"We can fuck in your childhood bed…"

Kihyun stops and lifts his head. Changkyun blinks down at him. "You want to what?"

"Like. Isn't that a thing? Don't people get off by fucking in their childhood bed?"

"It's a twin."

"Yeah. So, like, small space, probably next to the parents room?" Changkyun waits for Kihyun to slowly nod his head in confirmation. "Yeah. I dunno. Are you not into that?"

Kihyun makes a _not really_ face. "I'd fuck you in my old room to fuck you but not _because_ it's my old room." Kihyun looks confused, mouths something to himself and then, "Yeah. I think I said that right."

"Oh." Changkyun purses his lips. Great.

"It's weird." Kihyun's eyebrows rise into his forehead. "Are you into that?"

"We've technically already fucked in my childhood bedroom. It's not a thing for me either."

"I blew you—"

"Yeah, yeah, potato, _poh-ta-oh_ ,"

"— That's not the same thing."

"Whatever!" Changkyun waves his arms in the air. "Do you wanna fuck on this bed?" He rubs the mattress. "She's sturdy, a nice firm-top mattress. Banged in her before, give her a solid ten out of ten, would bang in again." He wiggles his eyebrows at Kihyun. Kihyun gives him a sassy look back.

"Ten out of ten?" Kihyun kisses him, Changkyun's hands coming up to hold his face.

"Yes, maybe even more, fifteen out of ten, it was very good. Wanna go again."

Kihyun chuckles, lips against Changkyun’s lips. That feels nice. Changkyun kisses him. Slow.

"You're shameless." Kihyun muses, then kisses him. Ugh, so many kisses. Changkyun could die happily.

"I'm gay and you're hot and your dick is a masterpiece and you fuck like a dream I _need_ you to know."

"Hm," Kihyun kisses him open mouthed and Changkyun meets him halfway, deep and messy. Messier, and a little more urgent. Changkyun gets a little clingy, tips his head to the side, moaning around Kihyun's tongue in his mouth. His brain goes _!!!!!!!!!_ as Kihyun's hand slips up his side, then back down, then settles on his waist, and their kissing gets a little breathy, a little more desperate.

"I want…" Kihyun starts, but Changkyun chases his lips, and Kihyun moans, gives in and his sentence stays trailed off.

"Tell me what you want." Changkyun mumbles, shifting so Kihyun presses a little more against his crotch. Kihyun groans, pauses like he forgot what he was going to say, and then says,

"I want you to fuck me."

That one night that Changkyun had not so gracefully ditched MinJoo to go to Kihyun's, Kihyun had tempted him with this very statement. Except they sixty-nine'd and Changkyun really hadn't been capable of moving afterwards, and Hyungwon and Hoseok wanted to play Uno, so it didn't happen. Changkyun hasn't really thought much about it, since the stress from Kihyun rubbed off on him, too, but now Kihyun's between his legs and kissing him hungrily and what's Changkyun going to do? Say no?

"Are you sure?" He asks, just in case, and Kihyun nods.

"Yes, fuck me."

There's a whole lot of nothing in Changkyun’s head as he rolls them over, pulls their pants off and kisses down Kihyun’s neck. He just wants to make him feel good, and he knows Kihyun has bottomed before but he doesn't know how long it's been so he should probably take it slow—

"Lube's in the, here," Kihyun has shelves above the bed, a super practical storage unit that Changkyun would make a mess of. There's a pretty unassuming box, fairly small, and Kihyun can't quite reach it. Changkyun kneels over him and grabs it, and he's not at all surprised to find various different lubes, and a bunch of condoms. He raises an eyebrow and moves the box aside to give that look to Kihyun, who turns a pretty little shade of pink.

"Don't look at me like that."

"You're super prepared, huh?"

"You can't tell me you didn't go out and buy condoms after we started dating."

Changkyun actually bought them the night before that very first time they hung out and stuck like, five, in the glove compartment. He'd been way over prepared. Actually, they're probably still in there, frozen from the cold.

He's getting off track. He has Kihyun lying with his legs spread around his hips, naked, right in front of him, and that's now what he's focusing on? A crime.

So he runs his hands up Kihyun's thighs, up his waist, and curls over him, arching in to kiss up his neck. Kihyun curls around him, makes a pretty pleased little noise. It's so pretty. Kihyun's so pretty. What the fuck. Changkyun loves his life.

"Get the lube and finger me." Kihyun squirms a little, and Changkyun smirks against his skin.

"You're a bossy bottom?"

Kihyun squirms a little more. Changkyun thinks he found a sensitive spot on his neck. Bingo. He'll leave a hickey right here, low enough that it can be hidden with a collar. A little mark that only he can see, a small mark that if it peeks out, everyone will know he was there. And he sucks a little harder, and Kihyun moans, arches back.

"You wanna leave little marks? Hm?" Kihyun speaks so lowly, Changkyun screws his eyes shut. It's so hot. "Let everyone know I'm yours? You wanna let everyone know you’ve had me?"

 _Yes_. Changkyun digs his teeth in a little and Kihyun moans again.

"Make me yours."

Changkyun needs to pull back for a breath, stop and take in the visual of Kihyun, dark haired and flushed, sinking back into the soft pink bed sheets, hands fallen back to the sides of his head. He looks out of it, and hazily reaches one hand out to trail down Changkyun's chest, and settle down near his dick. Changkyun grabs the bottle of lube and drips it all over his fingers, rolls the bottle to the side and leans back down to suck on Kihyun's neck as he slides in a finger. The sound that Kihyun makes runs hot down Changkyun's spine.

Changkyun teases him for a little, licks all over his neck and kisses him sweetly, licks into his mouth and smiles as Kihyun grinds against his fingers. He pulls out his fingers and wets them even more and leans back, starting with two, watching how Kihyun fists the sheets.

"Can you take another one?"

Kihyun's jaw tenses, and he nods. So Changkyun slides in another finger and leans back over him, fucking Kihyun slowly with his fingers until Kihyun reaches down and slowly pushes him off. They don't have to say anything, Kihyun gets on his hands and knees and Changkyun overloads at the sight, spills lube everywhere but on his dick, manages to get it right a second time, and gets up and kneels behind him. Kihyun arches so prettily, presses his chest to the mattress, as Changkyun settles his hands on Kihyun’s hips, takes a deep breath, and gently pushes in.

He can feel Kihyun tense under his hands, and Changkyun stills, but Kihyun moans against the pillows. So Changkyun moves again, slowly until he's all the way in and Kihyun is breathing heavily— they both are, who's Changkyun kidding— and he stops for a moment. He drags his fingers along Kihyun's spine, and moves carefully.

"Are you okay?" Changkyun asks as he pushes back in, head tipping back at how good it feels.

"Yes, babe." Kihyun nods against the pillows. Changkyun stops again, pressed up against his ass, and runs a hand down his curved back.

"You look _so_ fucking good." Changkyun mumbles, hands sliding back up to hold Kihyun's hips.

Changkyun takes in a shaky breath and starts moving. Careful, at first, then faster, trying to find a rhythm, try to be gentle and listen to Kihyun. Kihyun asks for,

"More, baby. Fuck me harder."

And Changkyun feels desperation rush through his gut. He grips Kihyun a little harder, fucks him faster, thinking less and less of a pace and instead responding to the pull in his gut and the noises Kihyun makes, the way Kihyun grips the sheets. His back is all shiny with sweat, and he arches a little more, pushes back against Changkyun's thrusts, and Changkyun finds his prostate.

Kihyun makes a choked noise and buries his face in the pillows and puts a hand up against the headboard as if bracing himself, and Changkyun holds his hips in place and fucks him right there.

"Please…" Kihyun sounds so wrecked, it's beautiful. "I'm…"

"What, baby?"

"Harder, please… C'mon, Kyun."

Changkyun can, and does, feels Kihyun’s body shake underneath him. He's going to fuck Kihyun until he's a mess. Changkyun pulls on Kihyun's hips and he responds immediately, pushing back and rolling his hips and mumbling,

"Your cock feels so good— _ah_ , you fuck me so well, baby." Kihyun's eyes flutter shut and he gasps as Changkyun hits his prostate again at the same time he reaches down to jerk him off.

Changkyun can’t believe that Kihyun praising him edges him further, makes him a little wild, a little frazzled. He wants to know that he's making Kihyun feel good. But he's getting there, he can feel it in his balls and he fucks a little faster and much less coordinated and Kihyun whines against the sheets, warns him that he's there, too. And Changkyun's hand falters and he feels Kihyun come in his hand, hears him moan, feels him tighten around him, pull him in deeper, and Changkyun finishes, too.

He pulls out and stands on shaky legs to pull the condom off and throw it out in the garbage under the desk, which is only a few steps but feels like miles to Changkyun’s limp legs. He collapses onto the bed, right where it's all wet and groans, and rolls over, and opens one eye to glare at a giggling Kihyun.

"This is so not funny, it's gross." Changkyun sits up in annoyance, pouting down at Kihyun, who's hiding underneath the blankets.

"I have lube up my ass, I don't wanna hear it."

Changkyun laughs, a laugh that feels good. "It's such a weird word. Lube. _Loo_ -b."

"I have a four foot inflatable penis under the bed. I will beat you." Comes Kihyun's muffled reply from under the blankets. Changkyun tugs on them, just enough to reveal a small glimpse of Kihyun's face. He leans over and kisses his cheekbone. Kihyun's gaze go soft.

"Another shower?"

Kihyun grunts in response. The couple-y mind reading turns on, and Changkyun knows that means _yes, carry me_. So he scoops Kihyun up, and Kihyun hooks his arms around his neck and kisses him there.

"Changkyun?”

“Yeah?" He pushes the bathroom door open with his shoulders, smiles as Kihyun asks him to wait a second before placing him down. Kihyun takes a deep breath, runs a hand through his sweaty hair. It flops back against his forehead, and Kihyun melts into something so incredibly fond that Changkyun holds his breath.

“Thank you for this week.” Kihyun licks his lips, his fingers trailing along Changkyun’s jawline, so soft. So gentle. “It means a lot that you did that. You’re not… you’re not just my home away from home. You’re my home.”

Changkyun puts Kihyun down on his feet, and he’s still all tangled in the blankets but Changkyun gets two arms around Kihyuns waist and pulls their bodies together so he can hold Kihyun and kiss him senseless.

If they can get through the visit, Changkyun thinks they can get through anything.

**Author's Note:**

> THEYRE BACK BABEYYYYY


End file.
